My Rapist Father is My Pimp?

Does this title shock you? Are you rattled that someone would be bold enough to write such a thing?

Unfortunately, waking up to your rapist father also raping and pimping you out is a very real horror for untold children and young girls in our country. This was my reality.

I am a person conceived in incest/rape and a woman who has survived sexual assault and sex-trafficking at the hands of my biological father, step-father and other men for 16 years and several stand-alone rapes in my adult years. From all the years of sexual assaults and trafficking, I know of numerous pregnancies as a result. Sadly, I lost my babies conceived from sex trafficking through physically forced abortion.  The child conceived from the stranger rape was lost through miscarriage. I have spent the last four and a half years of my life researching in detail the plight of moms who get pregnant from sexual assault and the people (from the preborn to those alive today) who were conceived from sexual assault. Children conceived from sex-slavery/trafficking fall into this category.

While I experienced sex-slavery and trafficking, it didn’t hit me that the women trapped in this life would full under sexual assault conception until I began to dig deeper into my own story. As I realized that had I not been rescued by my church pastor in my sixteenth year of life, my stepfather would have continued to trafficked me. He had introduced me to a group of men and women who met at an indescriptive house to trade me and use me how they wished. There were also places around town that were used as meeting places. I was told just how beautiful and desirable I was.  Men would look on me as though they owned my body. I didn’t have a choice to say NO! I was told that I brought it on myself.

As I realized that I had not miscarried that first child that I saw leave me or any of there other children during those years, I remembered what really happened! It was then that the entire world of prostitution and sex trafficking changed for me.

While I have actually been pimped out to other men by my rapists and abusers, I also know what it is like to have my biological rapist father take what he wants from me. Despair and hopelessness filled my soul because for a time, it seemed that no matter where I turned, no one saw me! No one saw the blood running from my wounds. Family didn’t see it. “Friends” didn’t see it. There was no way out!

The GOOD CHRISTIANS looked the other way and said that I asked for it!

Do you realize how many young women in the trafficking industry are raped by the fathers that raped and impregnated their mothers?

They are being raped and pimped out by their biological fathers! Look at the sweet face of the baby girl in the picture above. She was already violated at that age by her rapist father! LET THAT SINK IN! Who will speak for her?

I am the little babe in the picture above. My innocence taken at nine months by my biological father who raped his teen daughter. He took me and abused and raped me until I was ten years old. I will be the voice that no one was for me and the voice of so many like me.

 Each of our cities and towns cry with the voices of the children and young ladies being raised by their rapist fathers who are now repeating the same horrid crimes and selling them for profit. Are your eyes and ears open? Can you see the trail of blood and tears? These ladies shop with us in the convenience stores, pass us with their heads down, yet are praying that we see their cries for help. So often we look right passed them.

I write this blog because I know that Christ Jesus loves each of these women! His heart aches for them. It is angered at the horrors that they live in each moment that they breathe. His tears fall for them when we look away. WILL YOU CONTINUE TO LOOK AWAY? WILL YOU REMAIN SILENT? We are called to speak up for those that do not have a voice! WILL YOU BE THAT VOICE? I, ROWENA ABIGAIL SLUSSER, WILL BE A VOICE!  

This issue can seem so overwhelming and heartbreaking. It can seem that there is no way to overcome such evil, but God’s word tells us that Christ in us is Greater that the evil one in the world! We fight in the Power of Christ Jesus. So, pick up your Sword and take your stand.

For more information on my organization, please visit http://www.facebook.com/treasureofvirtue

Papa In You Alone

Silent Horrors fill the air,
How could he steal his daughter’s soul?
A Collision of seeds and her young womb screams,
“Who will this life be?”
“A Shame? A demon?
A daily reminder of these horrors to repeat?”
Month by month, change by change,
Her father’s child to come from her.

A Little baby crying , no real parents to love her.
Shame is her mother, Disgrace is her father.
Sent to a home named torment, full of lies, revulsion and insanity;
Her terror intensified as she came to understand that her body wasn’t hers.
In dismay and loathing, she would think, why should anyone care to love her?
After all, she was Just a product of violence, right?!
Shame is her mother and Disgrace is her father;
“Let them them have Me!!! Let them devour Me!!” She thought in self disgust.

But wait! A voice louder than thunder spoke. Rushing waters poured like a mighty wave.
“My daughter!” She heard, as her heart was soothed. and He gave her a name.
This moment happened before the violence,
Before the collision of seeds. Her eyes opened to see the unseen story. The Beauty.
How? You may wonder. You may even exclaim!
His Book gives the answers you seek.
Though no one thought her life had meaning or value,
He had the days of her life numbered before even one had ever happened.
He shaped and molded her body together, each intimate detail;
He hand-selected the color of paint for her eyes and hair, brushing each stroke to perfection.

Though He knew her adversity and pain that would scar her,
He had already redeemed her by His Son’s blood.
Her Kinsmen Redeemer never left her side,
As she trained and was equipped into the warrior-princess He called her to be.

Now she stands before you!

And I proudly praise the King of Kings!
Although my life was meant of be a curse of violence by the world and many around me,
The Lord Jesus is mighty to save!
This sinner, shameful and disgraced by my own sin and the many sins committed against me, has experienced a great exchange!
This Exchange is death for Life,
Given by Christ Jesus, through His finished work on the Cross!
Now My Father is the Holy and Anointed One, God the Father!
No longer a Disgrace or Shamed but His Daughter,
AND ONLY BY YOU ALONE! I LOVE YOU PAPA, MY FATHER!

 

I want to give a few quick references to the book mentioned above. Psalm 139:13-16, Ephesians 1:4-5, Ephesians 2:10, Romans 8:14-17. Please Look up these verses in the Bible. If you have questions, do not hesitate to ask me questions. I would love to share my faith in Christ with you. If you are a Christ-follower, struggling with your identity and need encouragement, please reach out. I love you all with His love for you! Blessing to you.

Heart thoughts of a Redeemed Survivor

I want to share a page from my journal. For the past three weeks, I have been on a roller coaster of emotions. I faced a deep-rooted fear that was planted when I was around 4 years old. In the process of working through my healing, I had another blow that involved my rapist of 5 to 6 years. I know that the talk of rape and its effects is very uncomfortable for most people, but it is a very real horror with real, long lasting consequences. For the first time in 22 years, I may see a few of my rapist children. Even writing those words sends shivers down my spine and causes my stomach to turn. I share this because it occurred to me that there are other survivors of long-term and short-term rape/sexual assault who might have or will struggle with this very issue. Often, we are told that we are just emotional or taking things to personally. Well, I will tell you that it is very personal. So please read and share:

How one man can cause such deep pain and rifts breaks my heart. It has been 22 years since he got caught in his crime. His crimes against me went on for about 6 years. His crimes grossly affected me, but they also affected my loved ones. Sitting here, I have new realizations of how Christ protected me from a certain future. I am in anguish over the place I am in. My heart cries out words I can’t write because they are to graphic to repeat. I long to be understood but only He really knows. I forgive! I forgive! But the pain is real. The struggle is real! The wounds are real. The story isn’t fiction; it happened over and over, day and night. By His stripes, with His nail-scarred hands, beneath His blood, I am overcoming, but the pain, the choices I face, the choosing to feel! It is real!!! Sorrow, horror, anger, heartache, distress, pain: they are real for a crimes committed against me over and over again. I rest in His peace but must sit here in tears as He continues yet another open heart surgery on His redeemed daughter. No pain-numbing meds for me. I must face this. I must make this choice for my good and my children’s good. He is for me. He is protecting me. I only need His validation. He is with me. Release everyone else, their thoughts and choices and cling to Him for dear life! He is the only one who can know intimately the crimes that caused this heart attack.

~ The Heart Cries of His Redeemed Daughter

Thank you for sharing in my healing. Encourage the survivors in you life.