Conceived in Rape-Incest and Pregnant by Rape Twice

I am sharing my story for every girl who lives in silence, and for every person to understand that all life has value and is worthy of protection.

I was conceived in father/daughter rape-incest. My mother, Becca, was molested by her father throughout her children and was 15 when I was born. She was offered an abortion by a doctor who had asked her if she had been a “bad girl,” to which she responded that she had not, because she really had no understanding of what he father had been doing to her. This doctor completely failed to help her break free from the molestation. In fact, Child Protective Services also failed to protect my mom, even though they were called by the school authorities, and while at school my mom told them what was happening. Nevertheless, they ultimately sent her home to be abused for several more years. Despite the pressure to abort, once my mom knew she was pregnant, she understood that a life was growing inside of her which she could not kill, and so, she refused the abortion and chose to bring me to birth.

When I was born, she said she loved me like a baby doll, but did not know how to care for me. As a result, her parents, Ruben and Rosa, raised me as their own until I was around 4 years old. At that time, Becca told me that she was my mom. Since I didn’t believe her, I asked Ruben and Rosa if this was true, and they confirmed for me that it was indeed true — they said that what Becca said was correct and that she really was my mom. I remember feeling confused, and to help myself deal with the confusion, I would call Rosa mom or mamma, and Becca, I would call Becky or mother. I remember feeling weird in public because Becca was my sister to the public. Overall, I still saw Becca as my sister and friend, even though I knew she was my mom.

My earliest memory of abuse is as a baby. My father, Ruben, started to physically and sexually abuse me from around 1 year of age until I was 10 years old. In once instance, my grandmother Rosa even caught him and threatened to divorce him if he ever did it again, but I was too scared to tell her what was happening. I knew what he was doing was bad, though I didn’t know the name for it. I knew that he was bothering me and I didn’t like it. He was a big man (350+ lbs) and he was violent, so I was terrified of him. I felt so dirty, defiled and ashamed. There are so many memories of the sexual abuse and a great deal of pain in recounting any of them.

My young mom did her best to protect me. One of my memories of her protecting me was around the age 8 or 9. My father was upset with me about not doing a chore right, so my mom (Becca) told me to hide under the sink and be real quiet. I did, but felt guilty because I knew what he would do to her. Sure enough, he gave her my beating. I could hear it and see from a small hole. Other times, she would ask me if he was “bothering” me. I know I would tell her both no and yes. She would ask me if I would want to go or stay if she ever left, and I would tell her that I definitely wanted her to go! Finally, on November 16, 1988, she secretly took me out of school with the help of our oldest sister, Rachel. My mom and I ran away with family friends to Plainview, TX, and it was about 7 years before I saw my father or my grandmother again.

Within a couple of months after moving, my mom told me the truth – that my father had sexually abused her as well, and that I was a result of that abuse. It didn’t shock me because I had a feeling he had been doing the same things to her, but I definitely felt confused, gross, ashamed, and worthless, and wondered how my mother could really love me.

Plainview was supposed to be a new start, but unfortunately, we ended up in an abusive cycle again. My mom met my step-father at church, and he was a charmer. He swept my mom off her feet. I don’t remember exactly how I felt about him, but I do know that I wasn’t happy that he was taking my mom away. Shortly after my 11th birthday, he talked my mom into letting me spend the night with him and his girls, and she took his youngest son. That night, my future step-father sexually abused me. I tried to tell my mom, but the church we were going to gave her bad advice, and they blamed me. After that, I felt alone and trapped as the abuse continued over the next five years.

At age 13, I became pregnant by my step-father, though hadn’t realized at the time that I was actually pregnant because I didn’t understand what was going on with my body, and now that I’ve experienced four miscarriages in my life, I realize that I was pregnant by him, ending sadly in miscarrying the baby. He had told me that if I ever got pregnant, he would force me to have an abortion.

Until after my sixteenth birthday, I was trapped in a very destructive relationship with my step-father. He was completely warped and told me strange things such as that he wanted to marry me and wanted me to raise my younger sisters and brother. I prayed for a way out! I thought that I would suffocate from the inside and out. My way out was close, though I didn’t know that at the time.

My family started going to a new church. This church would be the path to freedom that God used to end the abuse. One day, in June of 1994, my mom walked in on my step-father raping me. The feeling of doom was so thick, I was smothered by it. I was sure that my mom was going to send me away, but the next day, she went to our pastor and told him what happened. This time, the pastor called the police. Finally, my cage door was opened!

He was charged and arrested, my step-father and mother got a divorce, the grand jury indicted him, but then the prosecutor cut a plea bargain, so he spent 10 years in prison. Although some would call this justice, I remember feeling at the time very upset that I did not have my say in Court and I wanted my voice to be heard. Finally after all of these years, I have the opportunity to be heard!

I have survived sexual assault and rape by my biological father, uncle, half-brother, step-father and other men. Healing started to happen as I sought out counseling. At the age of 19, I met my future husband. He was the first man who treated me with respect and dignity. We dated for two years before getting married in October of 1999, and he’s been my biggest supporter.

While my husband was away for training with the United States Navy, when I was 22 years old, I was raped by a stranger in a home invasion while I was sleeping. I did everything “right” – I went to the hospital where we reported it to the police, and I had a rape kit done. I was offered the Morning After pill, but I declined because I knew the risks involved. The perpetrator was never caught. My husband came home within 48 hours of the rape, and we moved to a new location for obvious reasons.

About a month later, I had a positive home pregnancy test. I was scared and alone. My husband was back at Naval Training again. I went to a pregnancy clinic, not knowing the difference between a pro-life pregnancy resource and an abortion-friendly clinic which encourages and refers out for abortions. At this clinic, I was strongly encouraged to have an abortion — particularly because I was pregnant by rape. I was completely shocked and appalled! I told them I did not want an abortion, and I promptly left. I told my husband that I was pregnant, and I asked him if he would raise the child with me. I was so scared that he might say no! He told me that just as I was a miracle, this child is also a miracle, and that he would love the child like his own. In that moment, I felt secure and protected, but at the same time, I felt unworthy of such unconditional love. Within another month, I began to bleed, and I either miscarried or had a false positive pregnancy test. I had a accepted the fact that I was going to have a baby, and felt sad realizing that the baby’s life was gone.

I have had four miscarriages and the doctors told me that it was my genetic makeup due to my conception which makes me more susceptible to miscarriages. Gratefully, my husband and I have two healthy children together. My path of healing has taken so much hard work, but it has been worth it — God has been so gracious to me! I reconciled with my biological father before he died and forgave him. I have worked with my mom to rebuild a broken and confused relationship. I am a Christian and find my Hope in Jesus Christ. I have come to a place of peace about my conception and I can now voice my deep found identity in the One who created me.

I have now shared my story as pro-life speaker with church groups, youth groups, college groups, in the media and testifying before the state Legislature. I desire to speak to the value of life — even the lives of those who, like me, were conceived in incest and/or rape. As I have come to see my life as a precious gift given to me, I want the unborn lives of all to be protected from abortion, and I want every child to be protected from sexual assault.

I am going on 18 years of marriage with my husband Casey. We have two beautiful children — a son and a daughter. My family and I attend a local Baptist church near Lynchburg, VA. I attend Liberty University. I hope to become a professional Christian/Biblical counselor specializing in sexual assault conception. I have started an organization called Treasure of Virtue (ToV). ToV was created to bring resources together for women who conceive from sexual assault and the children who were conceived in sexual assault. I know God is calling me to use my story to offer hope and healing to others, and to show His goodness in my life! If you would like me to speak at your event or are looking for more information, you can contact me at Also visit, like and share my Facebook page Rowena Slusser-Treasure of Virtue. 

Reasonable Exceptions

Tonight, the New Mexico House of Representatives passed HB 390, the Late-term Abortion Ban and HB 391, the Parental Notification Act. I wish I could have been there with my sign that says Conceived in Incest/Rape! I knew that the odds of these bills passing without exceptions were high! Despite efforts to get an amendment for the removal of the rape exception, the Republican House moved forward with the bills, as is. I am fighting an uphill battle.

As I sat listening to the debate, Representative Montoya (Yes the one that bullied me to keep quiet) stood up to support HB 390. In his comments, he mentioned the exceptions. His words to describe the exception of rape, incest and sexual abuse were “REASONABLE EXCEPTIONS.” I must tell you that my reaction to his words was one of anger! How dare he call my life and the lives of those like me, conceived in rape, incest and sexual abuse, reasonable exceptions! Yet another representative called the child conceived in rape, incest or sexual abuse “caveats. What is the definition of caveat? It is: an explanation or warning that should be remembered when you are doing or thinking about something.

Unfortunately, these men are not alone in their thinking. As I have taken a stand against the rape/incest exception, I have become more aware of how many people believe that it is okay to have this exception! Even today, I was told that as long as something is on the books, then we can revisit the exception. I explained yet again, that not only is it a human rights issue to those conceived in rape, incest, or sexual abuse, it is a large loophole that will be utilized! How vast the thought that those of us conceived in rape, incest or sexual abuse, can be “terminated” with simple words. 

Yesterday, I celebrated my 37th birthday. Each year that I celebrate my birth, I am reminded of how I came to be in my mamma’s womb. I have moments where I cry and grieve my conception. I think of all the times that I have been told that my mom should have aborted me. Even people close to me have said things along the lines of, “How hard it must be for your mom to look at you and not see her father! It would have been easier for her if you weren’t here.” Even writing those comments cut my heart deeply.

I am so grateful for the heart to heart conversations that I have had with my mom. She told me that when she had me, she didn’t know how to be a mom. I was like a doll to her. She didn’t know how to love me the way that a mom loves her child. BUT she did love me. She valued me. She cherished my life. She fought for me the only way that she could at the time. She didn’t allow her father (my biological father) and mother to adopt me. She kept me. SHE KEPT ME!!!!! Those are powerful words to me. She could have discarded me like the compromising pro-lifers give exception for. I am so thankful that she loves me and celebrates my birthday with me.

Compromising pro-lifers easily put my life and those like me on the altar of politics. Tonight a democratic representative describe this contradiction well. He said that it was lack of political will that  the rape, incest and sexual abuse exception was not removed. He doesn’t see this exception as reasonable. This man is a democrat. He is not compromising his believes. Yet, many of the republican legislators and pro-life leaders compromise their “pro-life beliefs” with a bloody rape, incest and sexual abuse exception! They even call it a “Reasonable Exception!” No! It is discrimination! Did you hear that? It is DISCRIMINATION!!!

Day at the Roundhouse in Santa Fe, New Mexico

On February 20, 2015, I went to the New Mexico Roundhouse to speak out in support of HB 390 Late-term Abortion Ban without the rape exception. My family and I got there early, and I was excited but nervous! This was a big step for me on so many levels. While I have shared my story with more people than I can count, I had never spoke in front of a legislative committee with opposition around me. Why would I go before the committee and share how I was conceived in incest/rape? Because the lives of the rape/incest conceived matter, and as a follower of Christ, I must stand for what is right! A bill with the rape exception IS NOT RIGHT, NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS! Before I go into the details of that comment, I want to share what my day was like.

The House Regulatory and Public Affairs Committee allowed those who were against the ban to speak first! Their testimonies went for 2 or 3 hours, I believe. (For those who read this, please correct me if I am wrong.) Listening to the pro-abortion statements was difficult so say the least. Some of the comments were comical because the facts presented seemed staged. I had to cough a few times to clear my throat so I could stifle the chuckle. It was heartbreaking to watch soon-to-be physicians and MD’s spout the lies they believe about abortion! Some of these women were so young!!!!!! Even as I listened to them, I was praying for God to reveal the truth to them. There were women who almost yelled at the committee that it was their body, their lives! They had no right! I sat in my chair beside my husband and children, thinking how selfish those comments were! I saw hate spewing from these women’s mouths onto our legislators. It was sad.

After the opposing side had its turn, the line of speakers for HB 390 started to line up. Since I am in a power chair, moving around this crowded room was a chore. When I got to the line of people wanted to testify in support of the bill, I started to navigate through the stream of people. I was treated with kindness and allowed to be second to speak. Oh man, I was conflicted! Relieved that it would be over, I was also so nervous! What if I forget to address the committee? What if I freeze up completely? What if I just cry? What if I make a fool of myself? What if the committee or anyone else hates me and I am mistreated? Those are just a few of the thoughts that I was fighting against. I knew days before that I was to speak, but every time I would sit to write out what I was to say, the paper stayed blank. I sought the Father for His guidance. What did He want me to tell this committee?

I finally wrote down a few words on a piece of paper, while I waited to testify. Here is what I wrote, “Madam and Mr. Chair and Committee, My name is Rowena Slusser and I am in support of HB 390 with an amendment to remove the rape/incest and sexual abuse exception.” I still didn’t know what else I was to tell this legislative body. Finally, it was my turn to the microphone. I vaguely remember reading the introduction off the paper. I remember saying something about the exception being a civil rights issue. The rest of my testimony is a fog. I have seen my video, so I know that I said what was needed, but it was the Lord that put those words in my mouth! I remember seeing the committee through what I can only describe as a wall of water!

I can only imagine what Moses felt going before Pharaoh, knowing that Pharaoh’s heart would be hardened! What of Esther? She becomes queen, only to go before the king, unannounced (which is punishable by death!), to speak up for the life of her people! My life wasn’t on the line. I am not in any physical danger! The bravery of these to biblical heroes is astounding to me. I felt as though I was pleading for the lives of my people! Who are my people? They are men and women who were conceived in rape, incest or sexual abuse! They are the pre-born babies conceived in rape, incest or sexual abuse. They are the women who are marginalized and mistreated for wanting to keep her child! They are the parents who have adopted a rape or incest conceived child! We are the first put on the alter of politics! When our lives are extinguished, so many suffer!

Out of all the “Pro-life” speakers that testified, only four of us stood up for the rape and incest conceived. Not one Albuquerque Pro-life Leader stood against the exception! One of the “Pro-life” leaders called me a good friend! The line of speakers dwindled down, and I was so relieved because we had been in the hearing for over 4 hours at that point. Then I was surprised when my husband said that he wanted to testify. He got up there and introduced himself. Then he said that the supported the bill with amendment to remove the rape, incest and sexual abuse exception. Whoa! My husband is standing up! He has been my biggest support and encouragement! I have always known that he has my back when it came to my past and my conception! But now he was speaking out, telling the committee, that he was thankful to my mom for saying no to an abortion! He said that this exception was wrong! He said how much he valued me, how much he loved me! I was beyond words! That was MY MAN! My man was bold!!!!!! I am so thankful for him! (Casey, I love you and respect you!)

Finally, the last speaker spoke. The committee asked questions of the presenters of the bill. Then the vote was taken. The bill passed committee with the exceptions in. The vote was 4-3 along party lines. My heart broke, but I wasn’t surprised. I was ready to go to the hotel. My children sat through the entire hearing and were tired! I had completed the mission and was ready for some rest and relaxation. But that isn’t what happened.

As we were preparing to leave, I was approached by New Mexico House of Representative Rod Montoya (R-San Juan County, District 1). He positioned himself in a way that made it difficult for me to remove myself. I felt trapped. He whispered in very low tones. He told us that he had other people get up to speak for the bill because he didn’t want the Committee to recall what the previous speaker said! He said that we had to be careful with what we say. If I show that I do not fully support the bill, I could cause it to not go through. I told him that I understood what he was saying , but that I had to speak my conscious! He said that in the House that it wasn’t as big of a deal, but that in the Senate, there were two democratic senators that wouldn’t vote for the bill’s passage if they heard the slightest opposition. He very strongly reminded me that at least some babies would be saved. To this comment, I replied that it was the babies’ lives left out of the bill that was the problem. He assured me that if the bill passed with the exception, that they would revisit it and cover all lives. He said that this bill would save 95% of the babies being aborted late term. I told him again that the 5% is why I am fighting! I told him that I wouldn’t purposely try to kill the bill, but that I will not back down from stand up for babies conceived that way I was. To this, he eluded to me being selfish. I told him that the only way that I might not speak out was if he would email me “proof” of other abortion bills with exceptions, where legislators later removed the exceptions. (Mind you, I know that he cannot do this because it hasn’t happened.) He changed the subject and again told me to stay quite. I firmly told him that I would do what I thought was right. He again reminded me that it would be my fault if the bill didn’t pass the Senate. At this point, my husband engaged him in conversation. I told Representative Montoya that I would consider what he was saying but that I must not back down unless I felt right about it. My husband would ask him questions that would stump him. I will ask my husband if he will write them down so that I can include them later. I finally was able to remove myself from this “silencing” session. I have seen movies where a politician try to manipulate someone to change their stance, but experiencing this in person was surreal.

This adventure reminds me of a clip from the novel Divergent. Tris has chosen Dauntless. She has to jump into the unknown to finalize her choice. She has to have courage and bravery! All she has know is how to be invisible as Abnegation. Selfless. Now she has to be daring, take risk! I see myself a lot in the character of Tris. I have been sheltered in my world, raising my kids, being a stay at home wife and mom. Serving others. I love serving my family and others but it is a sort of comfort zone for me. I am being asked to JUMP OUT of my comfort zone and into battle. My voice, my risk has been minimal. Now the Lord is calling me to scale mountaintops with Him. Take risk.

Testifying in the hearing was a risk, a big risk. This risk has consequences. Some consequences have already presented themselves. I have had painful comments from people close to me. I have been bullied by leaders. My heart is broken! Do I regret standing up, taking the risk? No, I do not! My Savior reminds me that He gives me His peace. I am loved by Him so I do not have to be afraid. This is His working! He will continue to lead me and give me what to say!

My day at the Roundhouse was the first of many advocating for the lives of women who conceive in rape, incest, sexual abuse, and sex trafficking, the lives of pre-born babies conceived in rape, incest, sexual abuse and sex trafficking.

The Beginning


I woke up this morning, on my 13,499th day of life. The idea that I was unplanned and conceived in incestuous rape, floods my thoughts today. Who wanted me? My mom didn’t even know she was pregnant with me. My father may have wanted me, but why would he? He raped is daughter and that is why I am here. He should have been my grandfather. Most of my biological family on my father’s side wishes I would just go away. In the world’s “tolerant ” eyes, I am a stain in their evolutionary chain. In the eyes of some “Christian pro-lifers,” I am demon spawn, or evil offspring, a bastard or anything but a person created in God’s image.

My home state of New Mexico has a bill that will go before the House Regulatory and Public Affairs Committee, which would ban late-term abortion. This bill, which if passed would save babies’ lives, excludes the lives of the babies conceived in rape, incest, or sexual abuse. Pro-lifers who say that EVERY life matters but support a bill that excludes the lives conceived in a horrid and tortuous way are acting in a hypocritical nature. Not that I am not calling pro-lifers hypocrites, but the belief that save some as long as they are not the rape/incest conceived is hypocritical. Supporting an abortion ban with any exception is the easy way. Matthew 7:12-14, “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” Ask yourself, “Would I want to be the exception?” Christian pro-lifers should give thanks  that the God who chose them didn’t put stipulation on their lives. He sent His son to die for them; each “Christian pro-lifer” by name. As Christians, we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the principalities and powers in this evil age. Again, while humans are writing and voting on this ban and others like it, my battle isn’t against flesh and blood or their blinded bias. My battle is a spiritual one. God and Him Alone is the giver of life. Any law that give the okay to murder one class of unborn children is not from God!

This bill and those like its are “feel good” bills. Pro-lifers can say that they supported something good. Imagine for a moment if God told Moses that only the Jews who were between the ages of 20 and 35 were to be rescued from Egypt! How different the story of the Exodus would be. What if Jesus said Go into only three nations and preach the Gospel. Would you be saved? What if on the cross, Jesus said that his death would only save the people with blue eyes? Would you be saved? That is what exceptions are! Can you not see that exceptions for rape, incest and sexual abuse conceived babies is doing what I described above?

We, as Christian Pro-lifers should not SETTLE for a ban with exception. Yes, New Mexico is lawless and unmoral in regards to abortion, but is having a ban with exceptions really showing the heart of Creator God? NO! NO! NO! Why are some of us supporting a bill that excludes so many lives?

So back to my story. Why would I care if I am valued? Because I am created in the image of God! I had a friend, who was conceived in rape, tell me that truly the only value at the start of our lives came from God. As I thought about what she said, I could identify. Only God had a plan for me. Psalm 139:13-16 says, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Ephesians 1:4-5 reminds me that he predestined me for adoption. Ephesians 1:4-5,”even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will,” Ephesians 2:10, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” This verse reminds me that I have been called to good works, which were prepared before hand for me. What can I take away from these verses? God knew me, knew how I would be conceived, knew that I would not be valued in this world. BUT He valued me, my life and gave my life meaning and a calling! This is why I stand and fight for the lives of babies conceived in rape, incest or sexual abuse.

Right now, God is knitting together a baby boy and/or girl. He is giving them distinct personalities, eye colors, life-callings and purposes. And right now, if this bill passed, these babies would be on the chopping block. Why? Because they were conceived in incest, rape or sexual abuse. This “ban” would make it legal to torture them in the womb. They would die violent and painful deaths. And think of their moms! Their moms are terrified and feel trapped. Many women are forced by their perpetrator to have an abortion. Likewise, families (even Christian families) pressure and shame women into having an abortion. This ban doesn’t protect the most vulnerable of women; instead it harms and victimizes them further. This ban is anti-woman!!!!!

I want to wrap up by telling you where I am today. By God’s grace and my mom telling the doctor “NO” to the abortion offered to her, I am now married 15 years and have two children. I share my story of how I have and am overcoming 16 years of incestuous rape, sexual assault and various other forms of abuse. Thankfully, I survived being raped by a stranger at age 20. My life is valued in my family by my beautiful mom, one younger brother, one older sister, two younger sisters, my beloved husband, my son, and my daughter. I have other biological family members who would like for me and my story to disappear because I choose to stand for TRUTH! My church family also supports and values my life and those like me.

Pleas pray as I stand before the New Mexico House Regulatory and Public Affairs Committee. I will do this on Friday, February 20, 2015 and give them my testimony. While I am aware that this ill will probably continue on with the rape exception, I must stand for the lives of the unborn left on the alter of politics. Jesus tells us in John 13:34-35, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” Is a ban on abortion with a rape exception truly loving one another? Truly? Is this exception not a plot written by man? Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way that seems right to a man,
but its end is the way to death.” Also Proverbs 14:15-16 tells us, “The simple believes everything,
but the prudent gives thought to his steps. One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless.”

I stand All unborn lives for the Glory of God. All this is pointless if it only brings glory to me or any other person. Jesus died and saved me. He chose me to glorify Him! To Jesus Christ only be the Glory. I will end with Galatians 2:20, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”