I have already shared this on Facebook as a note, but I wanted it on my blog as well. It is important that the message that every life, no matter how it was conceived be fought for and valued. To all my readership, please like and share this on Facebook and Twitter. Thank you.
Have you every rested your head on your hand and heard your pulse? It is amazing to me to hear my pulse. I was reminded just how precious each heartbeat is. Take a moment, and join me as I explain. Earlier this week, I received a very hateful email in response to my story that has been featured on LifeSiteNew.com. The writer was venomous with her words. I have been encouraged to write a response to this email. Following some time of prayer and mediating on what the Lord wanted me to do, I have decided that for now, I want to address one sentence in the email.
The writer told me the following, “I would of aborted you instantly and if I was you, I would of prayed to have been aborted.” Let me tell you, I am a strong Christian. I know that I am loved and that Christ loved me so much He died for me, but reading those words hurt. More than I can put into words. To be told that she would have ABORTED me is telling me that she would have MURDERED me. To tell me that if she were me, she would have PRAYED to be ABORTED is to tell me that I should have PRAYED to be MURDERED! I am being told that my life is of no value even to myself! I had to remind myself that this writer must have much pain to spew such hate and that Satan must be really unhappy with what God is doing in my life to send his fiery darts at me. I had to remind myself that in Ephesians 2:10, I am told, ‘For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.’ (Read the entire chapter of Ephesians 2. It is so encouraging.)
I initially just tossed the email into the trash, but thought better of it. I shared the entire email with my closest family and friends to pray for me and with me. These type of emails are an attack. It opens several different windows into the hearts of those who call themselves “pro-choice” or ‘pro-abortion”. For this woman, I believe there was a wound, either for her or for someone she knew. Often when we are wounded, we speak from that pain. When we encounter this type of reaction, we must remember James 1:19-21-”Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.” (Bold emphasis mine) Before we respond, we must seek what the Holy Spirit wants us to see and say.
My initial response was to throw away the attack. Harden my heart so that I would not get hurt by it. This would give the enemy victory. It would silence me. Instead, I will be quick to hear. I will hear the cry of the heart of a broken woman. Broken by life. So broken in fact, that she would prefer death of a life than to give life. I will hear the scream for love. Love? Yes, love! She may not realize it, but she desperately needs love, especially the love of ONE who can make her whole. We must show love and compassion to those who attack us. Jesus gave a beautiful example of this love and compassion on the cross in Luke 23:34a, “And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” This doesn’t excuse the behavior, but opens the door for repentance. As we are quick to hear, we leave room for a change of heart.
Next, we are instructed to be slow to speak. What does this mean in the context of the line from the email that I referenced above? When I read the words that she would have murdered me through abortion, and that she thinks that I should have wanted to be murdered through abortion, I want to argue with her about the insanity of her thoughts. I mean, any sane person wouldn’t say or write those words to another person! Often, when presented with untruth or hurtful comments, we feel the need to defend ourselves or our beliefs. However, if we take a moment to stop and pray, the Holy Spirit will give us the right words to say or not say. This woman has heard talking points. I will most likely not respond directly to her. I will pray for her. I will not right a hateful post about a hateful woman. Instead, I will enlighten my readership on how to glorify Christ in fighting the good fight in standing up for those lives affected by sexual assault conception.
After prayer and a time to cool down, I will speak loudly to proclaim God’s word over the lie that my life should have been murdered. We are told in Psalm 139:13-16, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” In Ephesians 1:4-5, we are told, that if we are believers in Christ, the following is the truth, “even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will.”
Out of the three commands in James 1:19, slow to anger is the last last listed, but I think that it is the hardest to overcome. Is it wrong to get angry? No, I do not believe it is. The Bible tells us to be angry and not sin and to not give opportunity to the devil. (Ephesians 4:26-27) The command in James 1:19 is to be slow to anger. Why do you think that is? I think it is because often when we are angry, we cannot do what James 1:20-21 tells us, “for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.” Ungodly anger leads to filth and wickedness. That is what led to the vile words within the email that was sent to me. For this reason, I must not respond with anger.
Do not misunderstand me. I do feel anger! How dare someone tell me that I should have been murdered! However, being slow to anger, I respond with gentleness and self-control, allowing the Holy Spirit to temper my thoughts and words. Through these actions, I hope to allow the Lord to work on my behalf. Through this process, I am able to express my thoughts and feelings on how this email has affected me. I can then explain how I am able to handle it.
If I had just trashed the email, I would have missed out on an opportunity to write about this experience. Every single circumstance is an open door to share what Christ is doing in my life. At the start of this blog, it was to be a few sentences long for a Facebook page post. As you can see, God had other ideas. I have been working long and hard behind the scenes this last year with Treasure of Virtue. Not much has happened on the Facebook page or in organization as a whole. You may be asking why I am bring this up in a blog about an vile email. The point is that earlier this year, I announced that I came up with a slogan for Treasure of Virtue: Every Heartbeat is a Treasure. By this woman attacking my very life, she highlighted the very reason that Treasure of Virtue exist.
As I continue to move forward, I know that hate mail will come reminding me that there are those who are hurt and angry. Those who believe that abortion in the case of sexual assault pregnancies will spew venomous world like those quoted above, but as long as I remember James 1:19-21, I will be able to speak the truth with confidence and love. I will be able to hear my heartbeat and know that Every Heartbeat is a Treasure.